I've structured my life so I rarely have to deal with petty government bureaucrats. But today I had to go take care of an ordinary little matter I've been putting off for several years -- something most folk do about once a year or so, but that I've managed to avoid until now.
I thought I had all my ducks in a row, all my information structured so that I could breeze through this process with both minimal hassle and more importantly, minimal database invasion of my very private life. Then I got there and found that the state, in its infinite nosiness, had just adopted a new paperwork requirement. Do I need to mention that it's a highly invasive paperwork requirement?
...something most folk do about once a year or so
I'm going to take a wild guess that Claire's problem involves vehicle registration. This is an easy call since persons of Claire's (and my) persuation only approach the state in a very few circumstances and car registration is the only significant contact which is usually annual.
Things to say in the course of vehicle registration (which may not get your vehicle registered but will make you feel better):
* Can't the homeless register their vehicles in this state?
* Is it the official policy of this state to discriminate against homeless persons?
* My residence has never been assigned a street address or a Rural Route number. [Works best in rural areas.]
* My parents never registered my birth with the government. They chose instead to register my birth with a genealogical organization headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah. They felt that government birth registration was the first step to a Communist takeover of the US. In retrospect, I see that they were right.
* I don't have telephone, cable, electric, or gas service. As far as I can determine, one is not required to purchase those services.
* The telephone, cable, electric, and gas service at my residence is not in my name but in the name of another person. Is it the public policy of this state to inquire into the domestic arrangements of its residents?
* My residence does not have mail delivery (aren't government cutbacks terrible?). I receive all my correspondence at an accommodation address at my local UPS Store.
* I never obtained a Social Security number. If you read the application you will note that submitting it is not mandatory. Since it is voluntary, I chose not to volunteer.
* Since fictitious entities such as partnerships, trusts, estates, private and municipal corporations, and even the Government of the United States can register vehicles in this state without birth certificates, photo IDs, or SSNs; why can't I?
* Do you know the Great State of Mississippi manages to survive without even having a DMV. The cops handle licenses and the tax commission handles vehicles. Maybe we should try that approach.
* Maybe I should move to Iowa, New Hampshire, Tennessee, South Carolina, Virginia, or Wisconsin where I don't have to pay off the blood-sucking insurance companies to drive my vehicle.
* How come a Saudi fresh off the plane can rent or borrow a car anywhere in North America and drive it in this state on his Saudi DL without even telling you about it but a loyal American like me has to stand in line and fill out all these nasty forms before I can do so?
* You won't register my car? Fine, I guess I'll break down and pay a lawyer to form a trust or a corporation, register the car to that entity, and then I'll drive it without telling you a thing.
* Back in 1914, my 13-year-old grandfather drove unregistered trucks on the streets of San Francisco without a driver's license (because California had no such requirements). San Francisco survived. This state would survive too.
[Check back for future additions.]