You may have heard that George W. Bush is Adolf Hitler and the US is Nazi Germany and "The Most Dangerous Nation" on Earth.
No one's said this to me in person but an obvious retort would be, "If Bush were Hitler, we'd be busy shoveling your corpse into a pit right about now. Since I observe that we are not, Bush must not be Hitler."
But what if I'm wrong? What if Bush magically became Hitler and the US magically became Nazi Germany? What would happen?
1) Canada is toast. The Pentagon dusts off the old
Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan--Red from the 1920s and the amphibious assault on Halifax and the armored columns pouring north from New York towards Toronto and Montreal would make quick work of the Canadian Defense Forces.
2) One
carrier battle group (out of our 12) would sail out of Hampton Roads to challenge the combined naval forces of the EU (assuming they are capable of combining). Fifteen minutes later...
3) The marine guards from the US Embassy in Paris (assisted by infiltrated crewcut "tourists" who flew in on Air France from Dulles) capture the
Elysee Palace. Similar seizures occur in Brussels and Berlin.
4) Unconditional surrender demands are received by the national governments of some 192 countries backed up by nuclear targeting of some of the more significant capital cities of those countries. Beijing is accidentally incinerated. Offers of surrender pour in.
5) The heretofore secret FEMA civil disorder control squads fan out in Seattle, Portland, the Bay Area, the West Side of LA, Boston, certain islands off the Massachusetts coast, and Manhattan to offer mental health services to various actors, filmmakers, commentators, and academics. These mental health services which had been sadly neglected in the "bad old days", became available under the recently enacted Secret Emergency Order 2004-23432-2345 establishing a single-payer National Health Care System.
6) Reflecting the Great Leader's famed concern for the natural environment, the EPA issues strict regulations concerning the handling and disposal of human and animal remains. Previous high-pollution methods such as incineration are replaced with modern irradiation and conversion into compost for use in agriculture and in the National Parks.
7) Under the guidance of the Great Leader, Christianity experiences an unprecedented flowering as His careful study of other faiths causes Him to adopt some of their techniques of proselytizing. He borrows conversion by the sword from Islam which serves to swell the ranks of believers.
8) Medina and Mecca are accidentally destroyed in a tragic B2 training accident. The Great Leader in compensation agrees to accept from Islam the burden of ruling the Christian Holy Cities of Alexandria, Jerusalem, Antioch, and Istanbul (now Constantinople) conquered so long ago.
9) The Great Leader, showing his concern for the confusions inherent in the many Christian denominations, guides The Faith to a new form of Methodism that is reconciled with its Anglican roots. The Great Leader sacrifices Himself for the spiritual needs of His people and becomes Head of the Church and Defender of the Faith.